Mr. Mom is Puddle of Ooze

Today was the greatest personal day of Mr. Mom's career! Predictably it had nothing to do with kids, wives, or making the world a better place. But it had everything to do with self indulgence, decadence, and unnecessary pampering.

Mrs. Dad had the tremendous foresight to get Mr. Mom a gift card to Uptown Dermatology & SkinSpa P.A. (www.uptowndermatology.com) for Christmas. This enabled Mr. Mom to renew his massage relationship with Laura, with whom he had not seen for over a year. As he crawled his tired, beaten, weary, 36 year old body up onto the table, the only thing Mr. Mom could think about was the loving selflessness that Mrs. Dad displayed by making this blessed appointment and, as an added bonus, giving Mr. Mom 5 hours of kid-free enjoyment afterward on a beautiful December Wednesday. That was top-notch wifery and I will be eternally grateful.

The Super-Packed-Chock-full of Awesome-Catch Up Post

Bobbing for apples

Colin also wore a Superman costume I made for Bennett's 18 month Halloween

Enjoying caramel apples from the Halloween party

I can still blog about Halloween, as Thanksgiving hasn't happened yet! I had a lot of fun making Annalise's Jessie the Cowgirl (from Toy Story) costume, and was thankful to borrow costumes for Bennett and Colin (Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story, and a white tiger). I find it hard to believe, but succumbed to the fact that I could not find cow-print fleece for chaps to save my life! Jessie must wrangle zebras instead of cows! As Annalise loves Halloween, and had been planning a party since school ended last year, we arranged an impromptu play date party on Halloween morning. The kids had a lot of fun. They didn't wait until I had my camera at the ready before starting bobbing for apples, however. A invited friends from Little Flowers as well as current classmates, and had a nice mix of guests.

This thankfully was the last Halloween we used a stroller. I couldn't keep up with A and B from house to house, when they ran across the yards and I had to go down the driveways and up the street. Colin was very in tune with the process, and never forgot to say "Trick or treat- thank you-BYE!!!" He handed his bucket to his brother or sister to bring to the front door, when I couldn't maneuver the stroller close enough. We stopped back at home after I took all three out, took a look at their booty on the kitchen table, and tucked our little tiger in to bed. Then Bennett, Annalise, and I went out for round two. We gave the kids free range with their candy this year, having a cut off about 30 minutes before meals. We got through the candy in just a few days, as Annalise, and the others to a lesser degree, has a voracious appetite for sweets.

Quotable, But Not of the MLK or JFK Variety

VS


B: "Why do we brush our teeth?"
Mr. Mom: "So your teeth stay healthy to help you chew food."
B: "But I want mine to fall out so I can get some cash."




Scene Setting: Kids playing in the basement while Mr. Mom is eating bon bons and watching Oprah.
B: "Hey A, look at my trick race track." (as he pushes the button and the Hot Wheels car goes catapulting off a ramp)
A: "Whoooaaa. That is soooo rock star B."

Our Daisy

Last week Annalise and I had our first Girl Scout meeting. A is a daisy (Kindergarten and 1st), and I am a co-leader of her troop. We only have 4 girls so far, but hope to have more join once they hear how fun it is. We had a nice first meeting, where the girls colored self-portraits. I was really excited to get A the official Daisy Beanie- isn't she cute as a button?!

Besides the start of Girl Scouts, we've been busy with Faith Formation class and Sunday school at our new church, dance class, ECFE for Colin, and a sports camp once a week for Bennett. He is having so much fun learning the fundamentals from Coach Dan, as well as being the ringleader of the 4 year old social scene. Mike reports it is lots of fun to see B run with unbridled joy, and I hope to skip out of an hour of work sometime soon to witness it myself. Our kitchen backsplash tiling project should get wrapped up soon, and then we're on to replacing the sliding door out to the deck, and lots of indoor painting. We'd like to get the exterior painted, but we're not sure if it could be done yet this year.

Performance Review

I finally had my 1-year performance review today. In typical management fashion (i.e. heavy on the bureaucracy and red tape) all 4 of my bosses decided to team up on me and take care of it all at once because the evil HR department was breathing down their necks to get it done so that their precious employee files could be up to date.

Mrs. Dad, clearly the leader of the group, started it off by thanking me for my service to FroFamily Inc. over the past year. My work had not gone unnoticed, and it was much appreciated by the group. Then she got into the formalities. First off, it was explained to me that FroFamily Inc. maintains a highly scientific 5 point scale for grading all of its employees. The highest grade is "Awesome", however this grade is unattainable and is just there as a golden carrot for all the silly employees to chase. Next is "Super OK", which is code for good enough to not get yelled at all the time. The middle grade is "Medium" because to Mr. B everything is medium. On the lower end of the spectrum is "Not Medium" because Mr. C is always opposite of Mr. B. The worst grade on the scale is "Stinky" because it is a funny word that we read in Ms. A's Junie B. Jones books that means something is no good.

Next, each took their turn. All the while I'm saying to myself, "I hope I'm not Stinky. I hope I'm not stinky. I hope I'm not stinky. I really need to keep this job."

Mr. C, the least senior of the group, did not bother with any pleasantries. He simply said, "Mr. Mom, thanks for occasionally feeding me food that I don't want to throw on the floor. I appreciate you not letting me sit in dirty diapers for too long. And you give good baths, provided you remember to not get me wet. However, remember that first week of your employment here when I had a seizure on your watch? Yeah, well that didn't go over so well. And one more thing, you are not Mrs. Dad and never can be because of the whole breastfeeding at birth thing. Therefore, overall, I rate you a Not Medium."

Mr. B. quickly jumped in to get his part over with so that he could go back to playing Thomas trains. "Mr. Mom, your performance was acceptable overall. You were there when I read my first words on 9/15/10. I arrive at school on time each day. We play some good ball in the backyard. And my clothes are laid out for me every morning. However, you insist that I not tease Mr. C all the time. You don't let me eat cookies at will. And I would really like you to let me watch a lot more TV. Overall my grade for you is Medium."

Next was the sweet charming Ms. A, who has me wrapped around her finger and completely knows it. In only a way she can, Ms. A smiled and began, "Mr. Mom, fine work this past year. Your help in enabling my transition to 1st grade was crucial to the success of our company. As was your work in being a buffer between me and Mrs. Dad and Mr. B. They just don't understand me sometimes. I want things my way all the time, but they have the audacity to have their own ideas. We'll get them to understand eventually, but for now, I need you to keep running interference. You also support my efforts in attending dance class, getting to the bus a minimum of 5 minutes early every day, and choosing my own unique fashion. For that, I will be eternally grateful. But could you do something about requiring me to eat hot lunch at school once in a while. It is the worst thing ever, and I would rather just eat a frosting covered granola bar and orange creme yogurt from home. It is for this reason that I will limit your grade to Super OK instead of Awesome."

Last was Mrs. Dad. The one I had been waiting for, but also dreading. "Mr. Mom, you have performed admirably this year. Although it would be impossible for anyone to live up to your predecessor, you gave it a good try. The house is clean, the dishes are done, the beds are made, the laundry is folded and put away, the children seem to be generally cared for, the lawn is mowed, you bill some hours in your moonlighting venture, and no one has been seriously injured or died. For that you should be commended. However, there are several things upon which you need to improve. First, talk more. I don't like living with a mute. I try to talk enough for the both of us, but I'm tired of it. Secondly, don't try to solve my problems. Usually I just want you to listen to me complain and tell me it is o.k. Why do you insist on fixing everything? Thirdly, you keep a terrible calendar. You need to write down everything on a calendar so that I know what is going on at all times. Also, it is because of your laziness that Mr. C attends 2nd-rate Eden Prairie ECFE instead of top notch Edina. Now he is behind the learning curve and could be destined for a career serving you burritos at Chipotle unless we can right this ship. Fourth, your organization of the kids clothes is less than desirable. Each size, season, and style should have its own neatly labeled rubbermaid container in the basement, and my god man, why is there a 12-month shirt in Mr. C's drawer? Lastly, this house isn't going to fix itself. We've lived here a year, and the kitchen is all you have to show for home improvement? And you still haven't gotten to that backsplash? What do you do all day? That being said, you have done alright. Since I am the final say, your overall grade will be Super OK. But don't expect any raises or extra time off next year. And if you think you are playing more softball in 2011, think again."

At least I still have my job.

KFro M.S. PA-C

Congratulations on completing your first year back in the professional workforce! Your family is proud of you. And the colons of everyone in the greater metropolitan area are forever in your debt.

Our Baby is Joining the Fun

Annalise's first day- check! Bennett's first day- check! Now it's Colin's turn. Colin is taking part in his first activity outside the home, where he will get a chance to socialize with kids his own age. I wonder what he'll think of that, maybe he'll be wondering where the 6 year olds are? Mike and Colin are in an ECFE class on Thursday mornings. I had Mike take his picture on his first day, and he is wearing the same plaid backpack that Annalise wore on her first day of (2 year old) 'play pals'! In fact, it still has a patch on it that says Annalise (poor 3rd child). The reason we didn't sign him up for the same ECFE class that both A and B were in was because kids had to be 2 by September 1st, and since he won't be 2 until November, I didn't want him to be in a baby class for another year. Mike is the token dad in class, and I'm sure will have some fun anecdotes to share regarding his male perspective on child rearing.

Tiny Dancer

Annalise is going to be an "ice dancing teacher" when she grows up. She has been pushing to get started with dance classes, and in order to fulfill the prerequisites that are necessary to be a successful ice dancing teacher, we signed her up for a ballet class. I have no experience with this culture, as I only remember attending a little community education dance class, and no exposure to any of the fancy (expensive) costumes and mandatory dance recitals that go hand in hand with formal dance instruction.

We all went the first night to check out what ballet class was all about, but as it was right after supper, it was not the best experience for the younger observers (and therefore for their mother) since bedtime is when it is for a reason. Last week, Mike and Bennett took her to class, and Colin and I had a wonderful time one on one, with a walk and some playground time. I'm excited to see how she's progressed, when I take her to class next week. She is loving it so far, and we are glad that she's found something she likes so much.

p.s. This was a wonderful post, until I had to change around some pictures, and my text was erased. So after getting really frustrated trying to recapture my Mrs. Dad-like prose, I just slapped the gist of it up there, and I'm done with it. Arhghghghghh.

Bennett's First Day of Pre-K

On the day after Labor Day, Bennett started his second year at Little Flowers. I guess the reason I'm just getting around to blogging about it now (aside from a delay on uploading photos, getting used to the new laptop, and general day to day distractions from blogging) is that his return to school was completely uneventful. In a good way! He started off right where he left off last year. He didn't talk much about school over the summer, or in the days leading up to his first day back. We attended the Ice Cream Social (which was really a Popsicle Social), said hello again to Christine and Kristi, and Bennett (and Little Flowers' graduate Annalise) chased old classmates around the courtyard.

Bennett is still attending half days, which is different than Annalise's second year of preschool, when she went to school all day, every day from the start of the year. As all of you who know both B and A, they are very different people, and half days was still the right choice for Bennett. He is learning a lot of the materials reserved for the older children, and is on the edge of reading. It is going to be a very exciting year for Bennett. Maybe if he ever stops napping (please, may that be never), we would consider sending him all day, but right now I think the boys are enjoying their schedule.

Blah, blah, blah, ...., blah, blah, blah

That is what my voice must sound like to children under the age of 6. Total Charlie Brown teacher voice. You think B is sucking his thumb in this picture? Wrong. It is actually him giving me the 4 1/2 year old finger. Take that Mr. Mom. In your face Mr. Mom. I'll verbally spar with C all day if I want to Mr. Mom. I scoff at being sent to my room Mr. Mom. I'm the alpha male of this house Mr. Mom. Then just when you are done, he gives you the face, and you daddy melt and all is o.k. again. This kid is awesome and I love him to death. I just don't like him all the time.

Sorry. Just had to get that off my overly hairy chest. Hey blogoshpere. Mr. Mom is back after a long layoff due to intensive psychotherapy.

Summer was bonkers, but school is now in session for all 3 FroderFive children. A is the big 1st grader, B is in Year 2 at LFM, and C started ECFE today at 9:30 a.m. Only instead of Mrs. Dad shepherding the way through cushy Edina ECFE, it is now Mr. Mom driving the bus through the murky uncharted waters of lowly Eden Prairie ECFE. Look out Eden Prairie moms. There's a new sheriff in town. Only dad in the class of 15 wonderful 19-24 month olds. Burping, farting, and scratching instruction takes place next Thursday. After that, it is on to football play diagramming, muskie lure selection, scotch tasting, cigar sniffing, and other various topics as the year progresses.

Thanks to all who have made the summer of 2010 a huge success. Mrs. Dad - Top notch wifery. Fastpitch softball - once again great work. Valparaiso, IN - very well done. MN state fair - terrific. I could go on and on. And I will. Stay tuned .......

State Fair Adventure 2010

I took a day off from work, because we wanted to go to the Minnesota State Fair on a weekday, and this was the only chance before Annalise was in school!

The kids wanted to try something new this year, that they have been talking about since last year's fair: The River Rapids Ride. Because Colin was too small to ride this year, I went on the ride with A and B. We had a great time, and the wet clothes were quite refreshing on the humid Friday we chose to be our fair day. Friday was Day #2 of the fair, and set an attendance record, just like Day #1, and we could tell- the fairgrounds were packed!

One of Annalise's favorite things at the fair is actually this spin the wheel game in the Cattle Barn. She likes it because you win a prize no matter what. I guess it appeals to her sense of equality. (Is she going to be a Democrat?)

Daddy took the big kids on the giant slide, while Mommy and Colin got a nice cold pop and watched. Bennett was on the burlap too, he's just hidden behind Mike, and he liked it that way.

I can't wait until next year when Colin will be able to do more things. He certainly can eat with the big kids though. We couldn't dole out the cotton candy fast enough!

He really was at the fair with us, we just didn't get many pictures, and he spent most of the time in the stroller due to the large crowds. He did not like to be too close to the cows, and really liked looking up at the sky ride, and trying to jump up to touch the sky ride cabs. He even fell asleep, which shocked us, and it was unfortunate that it happened while he was taking a turn in the front seat of the stroller, instead of the cave-like backseat.

Colin's Second Haircut

8.25.2010

Why did we wait so long? I wanted to see how Colin's hair would look long (like the kids are wearing it these days), with all of his lovely curls in back, but in the end we just couldn't wait it out, with all the food he smears in his hair, and his hair always plastered to his head damp with sweat. I'm so pleased with his new look. He is so adorable with his new 'do. I'm so glad we finally got it chopped.

A Day Out with Thomas

This summer was the summer of Thomas trains.

The kids played trains most days, and the train track was/is a semi-permanent fixture on our living room carpet. A lot of time is spent debating who is which train, and who is faster, etcetera. A lot of time was also spent by the older two throwing their bodies on top of their piles of trains to shield them from the approaching baby brother, which often made things worse.

We visited my cousin's family the other weekend, and picked up some great Thomas paraphernalia that his son Dylan had grown out of, to fan the flames of Thomas hysteria, and prepare for an upcoming Day Out with Thomas. Lots of new wooden trains, some DVDs, games, puzzles, and books, as well as some clothes. I also bought a Day Out with Thomas t-shirt on ebay ahead of time, so we wouldn't be pressured to shell out the big bucks at the event to buy memorabilia. I thought that was pretty clever and forward-thinking. We only caved and bought the big kids Thomas pez dispensers.

Our family trip to A Day Out with Thomas was in Lakeville one Sunday morning earlier this month. Here the kids posed with Sir Topham Hatt. Colin started crying when Mike tried putting him in the picture, and I don't blame him! He is the Master of the Railways, however.

I think the train we rode on was a reject from the Metro commuter rails we used to take downtown Chicago from the suburbs back in the day. It sure was a different experience riding the train with our three children- we've come a long way! The view from inside Thomas the Tank Engine was not too spectacular (Lakeville farm fields- oh, I mean the magical island of Sodor), but the kids had a nice time. And we managed to keep Colin seated for the majority of the ride with a snacktrap full of Goldfish.

First Day of First Grade

Annalise had a terrific first day of school. She sat in her own seat (both to and from school), and Manny the bus driver had the radio playing- talk radio and two songs. She navigated the bus ride and walk to her classroom without any difficulty. She played a game, "it was called a class activity", with two hula hoops that had to get around the circle without anyone breaking their handhold. Ms. F read two chapters of Junie B. Jones to the class, and they did some kind of step building with 12 blocks "that was supposed to be math."

She brought a lunch from home today just to keep things simple, and she doesn't want to try hot lunch until Thursday and Friday. Her ID# is like 7 or 8 digits long, so we'll have to devise some type of tag that she can wear to not forget it. She sat at a lunch table with all girls today, and didn't think too much of the lunch offering at school today. "It looked bad."

Mike and I have been so excited about this day, and so pleased that everything went so well for our first-born. I hope she has a wonderful first grade year.

This melted my heart, and made my day!

A few weeks ago, I was snuggling with Bennett in our bed before getting ready for work. I said to my sweet middle son, "I love you SO much, little boy!"

And he responded right away, "I love YOU so much, big girl!"

Fun Day with the Kids

We had fun around the house yesterday building a fort, and later put up a tent in the backyard. I filled the kiddie pool, and Annalise and Bennett splashed around, while Colin (who doesn't have much interest in swimming) watered the garden with watering cans filled over and over again from the rain barrel. We made some corn muffins and jello jigglers, and headed to a party last night. Mike was unable to make it back from his fastpitch tournament in Wisconsin in time to join us, so it was a little hectic, trying to manage all three on my own. We headed home through the rain drops, with lots of tear drops falling on the inside of the vehicle. Luckily, my obliviousness to the weather didn't matter, as we didn't have any storm damage in our neighborhood at all.

Today we went for a drive to my cousin Jay's in Coon Rapids, and picked up some cool Thomas things that his son Dylan didn't want anymore. After that we stopped by to visit HH and family, and now the kids are "resting" (euphemism for napping), and Mike is keeping up with his suburban lawncare responsibilities.

Have a nice week!

Twilight, twilight, first boy I see tonight...

Danielle, Hope, Katie, and I went to see Twilight Eclipse last night. Everyone was amicable, even though there was a division into Team Edward/Team Jacob. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're probably not 12. Thanks to Danielle for the excellent pre-movie spread. It was nice to lounge around and chat in a quiet, cool, empty house.

I got home from the movie, and was glad to see that Mike was feeling better. Since he rarely gets sick, when he's not feeling well, it really freaks me out. Of course, my mind starts making up a very interesting differential diagnosis. I stopped short of scheduling him for a doctor visit and rectal exam. I've got to stop letting my professional life carry over into my personal life.

Misc.

After work today, I took A and B to ice skating lessons while Mike stayed home with Colin. B doesn't seem to be very into skating, but Annalise loves it and is so competitive, and has improved so much since the last time I made it to lessons two weeks ago. When we got home from lessons, Mike had ordered pizza, so we had a few slices, and shipped the kids off to bed. Mike is feeling a little sick, which is very weird, since Mike is never sick (and no, not that 24 hour flu that he always gets after seeing his UMM friends), so we're just going to hang out on the couch, and watch some more Mad Men, season 3, before Mad Man starts back up again in 10 days.
Tomorrow night is girls' movie night (Twilight Saga- Eclipse, of course), and then a weekend full of possibility. We are headed to a friend's BBQ, but don't know if it will be with Mr. Mom or not, as he may be selling his fastpitch services to another team this weekend. We'll see. I'm trying to blog daily for a week or so, just to see if I can do it, hence the stream of conscience blog post about nothing. Sorry to disappoint all my husband's fans with my rambling, but this blog was mine first. Have a great Friday!

July 6, 2010

This is the day I did something with my children that made me feel like we'd finally joined a majority of parents. It was nice to feel like I was finally sharing a common experience with my friends who have kids. Annalise, Bennett, and I went to a MOVIE....in a movie theatre! Now, for those of you who are up to date on your Milk & O's history, you remember that G&G J got movie tickets for A, along with a hard copy of Horton Hears a Who for her 4th birthday, but she proceeded to run from the theatre only minutes into the flick. This time around, we also laid the groundwork for a successful movie-going experience by watching Toy Story and Toy Story Two (VHS tapes borrowed from The Three Kings- thanks!) about a week prior to our movie date night. On the way to the theatre, we talked about how the sound might seem really loud, but they'd get used to it, and we also talked about how it wasn't real, and if they got scared they could cover their eyes, or snuggle on my lap. We had popcorn and Milk Duds, and I brought juice boxes for the kids. They did really well! Bennett kept his eyes on the screen the whole time, shoveling in handfuls of popcorn, and loudly asking for more. I had to go to the bathroom near the end of the film, courtesy of Large Diet Coke, and asked the kids if they needed to go. Annalise came with me, while Bennett insisted on staying to watch the movie alone. We ran down the hall and back, and Bennett wasn't even fazed that we had left him. He of course wasn't able to tell us how the toys got into the garbage truck, but Annalise and I had a pretty good idea of what we had missed. We really enjoyed Toy Story Three, and it was so much fun breaking it down on the drive home, and listening to the kids relay the story to Daddy on our bed after everyone was in jammies. They were so excited to tell their favorite parts, they could hardly wait while the other was talking. I don't know when another movie will come along that I think our delicate crew will be able to handle, but I hope it isn't too far away- now that we are a tried-and-true movie going bunch, I'm excited to go again!

Happy Birthday USA!

July Fourth in Okabena

Photo by Annalise

Watching the tractors proceed

Loudest boy in America does not like fire engine sirens!

School's Out For Summer ........

Or is it? Yesterday, we were in the truck and somehow A got B to play school. They each had their respective drawing boards and A was getting B to practice writing his letters. As time went on, A was getting more and more frustrated (as she is want to do if things don't go exactly as she has them planned out in her head). She finally reached her boiling point and came out with this classic gem: "B, do you just want to goof around or do you want to try your hardest so that you can get gold stars?"

Several surprises/thoughts/cartoon bubbles immediately popped into Mr. Mom's large cranium:

1) How does A know what gold stars are? Such an antiquated reward system cannot be the Montessori way;

2) A is in for a life of teasing from B;

3) B can push A's buttons like no other;

4) A and B are both very twisted individuals because they both continue to subject themselves to these ongoing battles all day long, everyday; and the most shocking of all

4) B actually replied with "I want gold stars."

Camping Season Kick-off!

We had such a nice time at my parents' land in Wisconsin over Memorial Day weekend. It was Colin's first camping experience, as we did not get the pop-up out once last summer! Does anyone recall why that was? Suffice it to say, we were very glad to get the pop-op popped up and we were off and running with our crazy camping family. Our kids LOVE camping! Colin was mesmerized by the campfire, and insisted on sitting in his own chair like a big boy. The bugs were terrible on Saturday night (our first night), and it probably didn't help that we had the kids take a camp bath in a tub out in the clearing, and exposed all that pretty pink skin ripe for the mosquitoes taking! We went on a nice hike, and all the kids (and mommy) took turns going on an ATV ride with Grandpa. We also went to a nearby beach and enjoyed some swimming and playing in the sand. It was a really nice lake and beach, and it was packed with holiday weekend picnickers! Can't wait for our next camping adventure...